Waiting tables is a totally humbling experience. I never realized how cruel some human beings can be without even realizing it. Whether its from the waving finger or the slightly descending way people speak to you when you are taking their orders. I have to admit, I am guilty of leaving a couple bad tips, but once it becomes your main source of income it puts a totally different spin on the situation. Think about it like this, you are working constantly, not stopping but for a second to refill a drink, you are waiting tables, at least 3 at a table, you have a Muslim couple at one table, who doesn't eat anything with pork, you have a couple going on a date for the first time at the other table, so you know the gentlemen is trying to show off for the lady, and than a family of 3 at your last table, and they already committed making sure you have a horrible night. How would you handle it. If you have the right spirit, than its manageable, but after a pop quiz that you weren't prepared for, losing a jacket on sale to a sneaky shopper who snagged it as you go to get the rest of your money, and running about 5 hours of sleep, my spirits were a little lower than usual.
Every shift is defenantly a learning experience, and asking for help can be a challenge due to the fact that in this tribe has about 15 chiefs and 6 Indians, and with the pace of the shift catching someone to ask a question is harder than just figuring it out yourself. Working is hard, but after I but that plane ticket it will be well worth the while. I plan to persevere, in the face or in this case, faces of adversity. I can't quit. I refuse to be the kid couldn't make it, I want to be the man who tells the story of the kid who didn't make it, and what I did differently to be successful.
Teaching Myself a Lesson
Many people ask, "Why Mississippi?" when I tell them where I am, alot of people from here ask, the same question, which I found unsettling considering that they lived here. I usually sell the story of how I am here to raise my grades, and go to a better school which is true, but there is more to the story, (isn't it always?) I felt trapped. I was working because I need I had to but I didn't want to. I was going to school but I wasn't learning, and I my circle of friends, has seemed to make more sparks than memories. I was starting to almost feel a numbness, just navigating my regular routine. It seemed like I was standing still in a storm and the rain kept coming harder and harder, and in a last minute decision, I decided jump, before I drown.
Being here is defenantly teaching me so much about the world I live in, the struggles of people I never knew even existed. Exploring the culture of the people of Mississippi even though it can be comedic, its also enriching. I have grown to have a much greater appreciation for my education, its more than just classes because I know I should be doing it, Now my education is the key to unlock the possibilities that are available for me to take advantage of. I am learning that even though this isnt a key location in the growth of me as a person, there are lessons here to walk away with. The end of the semester is quickly approaching and I am counting down the days, but I am also counting my blessings. This semester is for sure one that I will not forget.
Living with my roommate is sometimes like going through the final stages of a divorce. You know, the part where you are still living together, until one of you finds another place, your not speaking unless you both end up at the fridge and there is no food, and you end up just arguing again. It's like that. We dont argue, but we never speak unless we are having guest. Making conversation is almost impossible. One day I decided to make an effort to converse with him, but instead of asking a general question as I usually would, I decided to be more direct. Asking him questions about himself. Surprisingly he opened up like a book. I learned alot about him, but it almost seemed a little strange how much he had to say. The next morning, it was almost like the conversation never took place. Back to the same morning routine, waking up, no music, no tv, and no words. Doing the divorced dance around each other. I am never one to give up, but I am beginning to wonder what is the point of trying anymore? Just like a divorce I am about to just let the papers do the talking respect his space, and just ask that he respect mine. But who wants to live like that, if they don't have to? But I guess if he is comfortable with it, than I cant change anyone. I will just have to focus past it and look at the bigger picture.
Sorry that I have show any pictures, but since my laptop has officially died (R.I.P Clara the computer Sept 27, 2009) It is hard for me to find a way to post items online, but I working on it, but in the mean time please love yourself, enough to be happy, and TIP YOUR WAITER!