ATTENTION (The Insecurities of Me)

July 27, 2016

    

     I am standing here, Donned in my best apparel. An outfit that I spent almost 2 hours creating, ironing, and making sure that I looked perfect. A fresh shape up, haired faded and goatee trimmed. Teeth brushed, and mouth rinsed. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Here I stand. In this crowded club, cautious of every move because I don't know if you are looking. Making sure that all my dance moves look cool, every gesture, every pose, sells the merchandise. Constantly fixing my clothes, and doing bathroom or mirror checks to maintain the look I captured before I walked out the door to get here, to stand here, before you, hoping you would notice.

 

    But you didn't. Its not your fault. I should have put on that other shirt. I tried it on and looked at but I said I wanted to try something different, what was I thinking. Trying to express myself, and you didn't want to see that, I was supposed to put on that other shirt because you would like it. Or it least you liked it when he wore it. The guy you were looking at last time I saw you at this club. Wishing I was him, in the shirt, with you, in my arms. I wonder where he is now? Considering that your here alone, with dress on.

 

    The dress that made me put on this outfit in the first place. The dress that made me even want to come out this hot, packed, crowded club hoping to see you. And maybe this time you would see me. Maybe get the one thing I always give you but never get in return. Attention. 

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