INDOOR FORECAST (The Insecurities of Me Series)

July 6, 2016

      I am sitting here looking out the window at the sunshine peeking through the trees bringing growth warmth and energy, but that's not what the forecast called for because its raining here in my room. The clouds cover the ceiling and the rain puddles in my shoes that I left out of the closet. I started to get up move into the hall hoping to escape the dampness, but it followed me. it seems as though anywhere within the house that I would go, the rain would follow. As I tried to run, from room to room the rain began to pick up, and the raise began to rise. I looked down from the top of the stairs from which I stood to see the space between me and the door that led outside, to the sun. In between us, a flooded home. All the things I was holding on, the things I valued most, floating on the body of water that had formed within these walls. I had a choice to make, and I had to think fast. Should I continue to climb to the top of the house, or jump into the water and swim to the door and free myself, where I could be close to the sun. Without a second thought I dove in. With the warmth in my mind, I swam toward the door, my chest tightening, breath getting short, and eyes burning, and my arms tiring. It seemed to be almost 500 feet from where it looked to be from the top of the stairs, but I could stop swimming.

 

       When I reached the door, the knob turned but the door wouldn't open. I pulled until I began to get light headed, and before I gave in I gave the door one last pull with all of the remaining strength I had. In a instance I things began to move quickly. I looked up from the top of the wave I rode out the door on to see the one thing that I had fought for, I closed my eyes and took it in. The sun. In that might I felt success. I had made it, even though I was homeless and soaked the warmth reassured me that these were on temporary setbacks. In life I have come to know that temporary doesn't always mean a day or two, sometimes it can mean months or even years, but nothing last forever. In that moment I just kept repeating that to myself, and let the warmth secure my feelings. I will make it through this as long as the sun is shining so am I.

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